There are a lot of amazing things about being a woman who loves a woman. You “get” each other in a way that only two women can, she’s soft and beautiful, and someone always has a hair tie. And while your love might feel like a tale as old as time, your wedding isn’t something that’s exactly been mapped out for you by the lesbians of yore.
There are a lot of questions that come up in wedding planning that the industry hasn’t addressed when there are two brides, the most obvious being how to pick out a dress without totally matching (or clashing) your fianceé. Don’t worry, babes — Revelry is here to help!
Enlist A Double Agent
One of the major benefits of the femme lesbian couple is that you probably share a tightknit group of girl friends. You brunch together. You do wine nights together. And in this case? You can go wedding dress shopping together. There’s probably a friend or two in your combined girl gang who might already be close enough with both of you to try on dresses. USE HER! Let her be the guiding force for each of you to help you stray away from looks that might be too similar to the gown your wife-to-be has picked for herself.
If you don’t have a shared best friend, enlisting a mole from your fianceé’s #bridesquad is a fun, intimate, and special way to make sure someone is keeping both of your bridal looks in mind as you search for “the one.” I recommend taking her maid of honor with you and sending your maid of honor with her as you each try on dresses (or when you order your Samples to try on at home). The maids of honor dream team can whisper and collaborate together to ensure the gowns compliment each other perfectly.
Talk About Your Dream Dresses Together
If you have always known you saw yourself in a ball gown, there’s no reason to keep that from your bride. Having a general idea of the styles and fabrics each of you likes will not ruin that first moment you see each other. It will still be your wedding day, and you’ll still be seeing the love of your life in a wedding dress for the first time ever. There’s nothing that can stop that from taking your breath away. Especially not something as vague as “I like lace” eight months prior to the big day.
Tell Her What You’d Like To See Her In
On your wedding day, you want to look beautiful for you, but you also want to look beautiful for each other. At the end of the day, this whole stressful, chaotic, wonderful day really comes down to your love for each other and making each other happy. Taking into consideration what she likes to see you in is a great way to help narrow down your options and make sure this is a special dress for both of you. Plus, whatever she tells you she’d love to see you wearing is probably a pretty good hint that it’s nothing at all like what she thinks she’d like to wear.
Pay Attention To The Details
There are so many incredible details that you can add to a wedding dress, and when there are two dresses, it could be helpful to lean into them! If one of you loves a low back, go low. Add a super long train to one dress or play with asymmetry on the other. One or both of you might want to add some color to your gown or different shades of white! Mess around with sleeves or separates, and of course, a bridal jumpsuit.
The amazing thing about a lesbian wedding is that you’re not bound by tradition. In a way, not having a guideline laid out for you can be difficult, but this same thing can be so freeing. If there’s a signature feature you like, don’t hold back. This will not only ensure that your looks are different, but you’ll feel fashion forward in a beautiful, unique gown.
I can’t stress the importance of finding a bridal gown vendor who is supportive of the community and of all different kinds of love. Look out on the company’s social media accounts, Yelp reviews, and website for promotion of same-sex love. Bridal companies who are accustomed to working with lesbian couples have been down this road before and many of them, like Revelry, will be happy to be “in” on the surprise you and your fianceé are trying to orchestrate for each other. They’ll know which gowns look best together and can help you to stay away from gowns that are too close to what the love of your life is leaning toward.
Complementary Styles We Recommend
The easiest way to differentiate your dresses is to use completely different silhouettes. This is a simple way to showcase your different styles without doing too much finagling. I do recommend going with a similar color and/or fabric when the dresses are so different so there is still an element of the dresses that compliment each other.
The symmetry of two dresses with a similar silhouette can be gorgeous in photos and when you’re standing up the altar. It can also feel like someone showed up to your wedding wearing the same outfit as you. Experimenting with different textures can change up the look completely. Pairing lace with crepe as we’ve done here (or chiffon! Or tulle! Or satin!) makes all the difference and looks amazing together.
If you both love fitted lace and are afraid one of you will have to sacrifice your dream dress for the sake of not being ~matching brides~ fear not. Experimenting with different colors is an amazing way to mix it up and it looks really beautiful together. Here we’ve paired a bluish gown with taupe and it was one of our favorite looks.
It’s all about the silhouette and people forget that the top of your dress can make a big difference in the overall look as well. Trying out different necklines and sleeve lengths is enough to provide two completely different looks for your big day no matter what the bottom half looks like!
Just because you’re both women does not mean you have any type of similar style. If one of you goes classic and the other is over the top, that could be a really neat juxtaposition for the big day. If one of you is going crazy with bedazzles and feathers, the other one could keep it simple and you have two very beautiful, very different bridal looks. Again, it’s not a bad idea to incorporate similar colors or silhouettes here to tie the two dresses into each other, but it’s not a requirement! We think ours look great together!
With your newfound wisdom and amazing resources like the Revelry team, there’s no reason to fear when doing your bridal shopping. So go out there and get ready to find not one, but TWO dream dresses. Because two brides are better than one!
Photophraphers: Lanterns And Feathers Photography , Madison Taylor Photo | Guest Blogger: Veronica Ruckh | Florists: Flora Fetish, Foxglove | Hair and Makeup: Makeup ATX, Allison Williamson, Nichole Ambrosia Biggs | Salon: Bohème Salon and Bohème Bridal | Venues: Umlauf Sculpture Garden and GVL Center for Creative Arts | Event Planner: Events With Shelley | Rentals: Tri-County Rentals